Jess's Main Page
Words of Wisdom

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Behold, the words of Jess and her friends:

My car is naked except for the poop, but aren't we all? - Luke

Question, all-powerful Lauren - Bruce
Yes, Bruce almighty! - Lauren

All that you've learned isn't gonna mean a hill of beans... - Pastor C

Are you edible? - me

I have a pot friend - Kristel

I'm gonna go piss out some Hallmark cards - Andrea

You're cheech - Charissa (to Tanya)
Does that make you Chong? - Andrea

Really ugly teeth! - Lizzie
Some people go for that - Katie
Yeah, there are some right here - Gary

*gasp* The dreaded hairy snail! - Gary

You've got nothing to wake up for now - Lindsey

That's just skreepy - Ellie

You don't have to take the hearing test - Gary (to Chris)

What makes California Paints so good? That's easy - it's because California Paints are made right here in Massachusetts! - radio commercial

I live the dream, man - Gary

Chris just gave me the hairy eyeball - Gary

It's like the Scarecrow! *imitates Wizard of Oz scarecrow* - Gary (about Kate)

If you slam back a cup of coffee and it goes through you like a goose... - Matt

Oh, it's a little beetle! Go frolick..Melvin! - Maggie

He was a super seaman - Gary

We will have some awesome times on the floor! - Jen

I win! My phone makes dollars - Amanda

We don't care what happens in Ohio - Chris

There's no such thing as stupid questions - Gary
Yeah, just the stupid people who ask them - Ellie

There's nothing really that graceful, especially if you're this guy, who's HUUUGE! - Chris

This stuff is so cosmic, man...oh look, woooooo, a falling star - Gary

It's a man's hull - Chris

You know how they say that California is falling off into the ocean? *waits for agreeable noises from the class* I have no idea what they're talking about - Gary

I have so much trouble getting reproductive after dinner - Gen

All the grinding and bumping is gonna take place at the boundaries - Gary

I feel like this is a Harry Potter moment - "50 points for E House!" - Chris

I bury my face in my flowerpot - Matt

What do we have? A week? - Gary
*quickly* Eight more days of classes!...not that I'm counting... - Ellie

What's the most important thing you need to engage in ocean sciences? - Matt
The ocean! - Rachel

Grandma's not gonna go out when it's raining - Chris

*squeaky voice* If I were a squirrel, what would I do? - Matt

Here I am, straddling two hemispheres - so excellent - Chris

What's your nationality? - Margaret
White! - Ellie

I'm giving you Jesus - Amy

The wonderful rolling-back-and-forth, rock-you-in-the-cradle motion - you know, if you're Stevie Wonder - Chris

Well, then, it was mutually exclusive happiness - Nelson

Apparently, I sound like my sister - Peter

I'm light-turner-offer boy - I might as well be TV-backer-upper boy, too - Adam

I straightened her out *smacks palm with back of hand* - Chris

If you can look like a small, glowing fecal pellet... - Gary

The lead singer's wearing white pants - we should go closer. This could get interesting. The guitar is too. - Andrea

I want an umbrella for my car - Andrea

*imitating a weather reporter* Well, Frank, it's pretty dark and cold and tomorrow, I'm predicting, will be dark, a little more cold...and that's pretty much what I think it will be like for, uh, the rest of our lives - Gary

And we can say "happy post meridian!" - Chris

This is not tiddlywinks bathtub sailing - Gary

I thought he looked a little fruity - Andrea (of a 6 or 7 year old boy)

It's kinda surreal, but then again, Wisconsin's surreal - meteorologist speaker

Yes, "Aquaman calls all his finny friends," doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo - Gary

I'm very festive - Chris

If you leave the city,...you die. - Gary

I felt like I was trying to extract fluids from him! - me

What if I get sick? - Gary
Then you'll probably vomit - Chris

Alright, any more news? - Gary
I ate some awesome cheese - Jeff

Do you sometimes find yourself warming up your lips without thinking? A lot of trumpet players do that - Peter
Why would I need to warm up my lips, Peter? - Phil

I feel like a Baptist preacher. I believe! - Capt. Chris

The Earth revolves around us, duh! - Capt. Chris

Then we're gonna go into, you know, kind of a full monty - Capt. Chris

Blue blue blue, DEAD DEAD DEAD! - CS Gary

Cookin' up in Jethro's Cattle Rustler - Matt

*pessimistic-like* And we all know how things turn out when I do stuff...*puts slide on projector* pretty...awesome! - Jeff

Well, we're not doing it...we're researching - Peter

I don't know what Thomas Irving was smoking when he wrote this - Matt

I'm gonna clog your nets - Rachel B.

They wanna grow up and be big crabs and get down to the bottom and get it on! - Chuck

The fish wouldn't have anywhere to go...it would be really bad ice-skating - Kristin

Is it a great action film? Haaaail yeah - Matt

We are vertebrata. *puts hands on hips* Most of us, anyway... - Chuck

We're tackling the homeless - Colin

He gave her her first hickey - she has a picture of it...well, not of it happening - Andrea

The only thing holding it up was the termites holding hands - Pastor Ely

I was a towhead when I was blond - Philip

...And I'm not talking about a belugaphone - Matt

We're driving like a minivan - Capt. Chris

It's full of havoc! Cats and dogs sleeping together! - CS Gary (On the Antarctic currents)

...Splooging out... - CS Gary

People in the Southern Hemisphere are very confused - they have NO idea where they're going - CS Gary

Affectionately peeing in the corners - Matt

We like to pretend we're at sea, here at SEA - Philip

Anytime I hear the words "meat" and "ball" together I get excited - Adam

I feel your wind - Michelle

Imagine a group of starving zooplankton and they meet with this nutrient-rich water - "woooo, party!" and there's lots of sex and drinking of some kind. - CS Gary

Shmooey weather - Capt. Chris

Look, honey, I'm all pimply! Let's go! - Pam

They were going to go where the roads were closed, but then they decided against it - Mega T

Can I pop your buttons? - Mega T

I don't know how it is with other studies, but in Engineering, you can't swing a cat around without hittin' a Hindu - Fish

You're not helping me - you're screwing the kids next year! - Free

...these academitions - the Dean

Why are they spiraling? - Free
Because they don't like each other! - Em

How about orange juice? - Free
That would be wonderful - Em
With pulp? Without pulp? - Free
MAXIMUM pulp! - Phil

How many graminy nominations? - Free

I'm stangle - Andrea

I just lie a lot - Free

It's a marriage doomed from the start - Barker (on the Nazarene tradition coming from the Anglicans and Anabaptists)

The Zeroeth Order! Sounds like a club... - me

You were fillidaddling - Jen S.

Away with you and your extinct brains! - Giberson

If you're not off your duff, I know you're not into this - Free

You better pray for me or I'll beat you up! - Mega T

Hold the rod right there and try to poke - Free

There's the East-West Schism, so there's really no cross-pollination - Barker

You just hafta eye it up - Free

Just because you slept with me doesn't mean we're friends - Andrea

He probably sat in a similar classroom to this one - Barker (of St. Thomas of Aquinas)

And windows evolved into doors - John (while watching "Darwin's kids" walk outside via a window)

I stuck it in an Exprel - Free (Excel + spreadsheet = Exprel)

People have to go out with their shovels and trash bags and scoop up all the little children from Mama Maple Tree - Giberson

I guess they were people of action - Barker (of the Crusaders)

This has a certain triggel - Free (trigger + level = triggel)

Don't go asking ITS to unblock "hard core" so you can do your EMES homework - Giberson

Don't mumble - be a man! - Free

Pick-up line from www.blogthings.com:
Do you have a Bandaid? 'Cause I just scraped my knee falling for you.

In my ice cream, I want peppermint panties! - Andrea

Who am I sitting on? Whose knee is that, Ted? - Free

You're a Mr. Peepers, you wimp - Free

This is like a mystery! This is like using a ouija board! - Kara

This is the positive one because of the little dimple on it - Free

He didn't know if I was a spy for the administration - Free

I rolled the thumbscrew - Free

Stop looking at my baby, Matt! You pedophile! - Chad

She seemed pleased with whatever proposition he had made - me (of my POV of Em with the maintenance guy through a closed door when I was wicked sick)

Are those mushrooms? - me (mushrooms, marshmallows, eh)

The crud has dipole moments - Free

There will be cookies and cheese - Barker

She was all boobage up on me - Shoe

You're such a bassoon! - Andrea

If it wasn't for dipole, you'd smell like a polecat - Free

Don't be a DVD playa hata! - Shoe

She got so much action lastnight - Andrea

Okay, so here's the hooker - Free

Now you have the sexy voice - Andrea (apparently partial laryngitis makes my voice sound sexy - beauty really is pain!)

Once you go vampire, you'll need a neck brace - Shoe

It costs 18 ducks? - Andrea

At least the ox could keep me company - Leif
Yeah, just hope it doesn't pass gas too much - Jeff
Well, I won't feed it broccoli and stuff - Leif

Hey, man, I'm dyin' - text me - Will

Quick, Chad, what's the French word for chateau? - Shoe

Shoe must have grown a few inches while she was on the phone - Andrea

My crack is on a crack - Andrea

Sherring loves to share - Sherring

And I watched the women...*pauses* Dirty old man... - Cameron

*wiggles his hips* In America, there was a...*pauses for class to answer* - Sherring
Zoot suit! - Cameron

You can have a different man in different area codes! - Jen S.

I mean, the pride it even took for him to say that - I'm surprised his head fits through the double doors in Shrader! - me

Well, if you did, I simply can't talk to you anymore because the Society of Idiotic Jerks are at war with The Sisterhood of Silly Girldom - Larry

Thugs get lonely, too, according to Tupac - me
And what's his brother Six-Pack have to say about that? - Nel
(later) Ah, Two-Pack, how we miss you - Nel - well, Six-Pack.
Yeah, I don't really miss Two-Pack, because I see him too much - me

It definitely wasn't the Buffy of the show - me

Yeah, it's the Buffy that I know - Larry

We just made a rhyme! let's drop a beat to it...*starts beat boxing* - me

I frequently experience hours of blindness, then I put my contacts in - me

No, she was good fun - Nel
Ah ha! That's what bullies say!.....or pimps.... - me

You're just like me a little bit - Shoe
 

(from Buffy...)
Do we hug? - Xander
No, I think we're too manly - Oz
 
Big overture, little show - Xander
 
Why can't Giles have shackles like any other self-respecting bachelor?! - Xander
 
On the plus side, you killed the bench, which was looking pretty shifty - Oz
 

Could you come to my game tomorrow and bleed on the ball for me? - Larry

It was like my breakfast was on a runaway train through my digestive track... - me

I was a chicken and I kept making out with other chickens - Nel
So, you were a lesbian chicken? - me
I was a rooster...but they were some hot chickens or I wouldn't make out with them - I have my standards - Nel

I know...but he was a good crap - me - I mean, crab!

Whatever, go to bed, follow your id - me

I am "Typhoid Nelson" - Nel

I'm addicted to pearl tampons - Andrea

One of the top 10 things a professor should never do:
Use a student as an example when talking about polygamy...
"Brian, on this night, you'll go to this room, and on Tuesday, you'll go here, haha. Wednesday night, you will be in this room..." - Shea

You should live on the first floor if you like to bang a lot - Andrea

I'm such a dingleberry - Rick

As far as they know, people only have right legs - Shea

Stick a tamp on the stop of my head... - Andrea

I always wanted to be a luger - Mega T

I need to see your pGLO - me (in lab to Kristel)

We can do it together to practice - Erik

I'm handing over the pants - Joy
Woah, Joy! - me
Woohoo! I'm pants-less - Joy

Well, I don't wanna accidentally see something - me
I'm sure the directors have that under control - they know what they're doing - Shoe
Well, we already accidentally saw something in season 2 - me
Well, they couldn't control that - it was an accident - Shoe
Exactly...wait, sure they could - they could be like, "hey you, down in front!" - me

I don't wanna be 20 and hafta wear Depends - me
No more sexy pants - Andrea
Yeah, or thongs - me
Well, you could wear the thong over your Depends - Andrea
Now that's a sight even my husband would cringe at - me
If he can't handle that, then he's not the one for you - Andrea

Are you still poopong? - Andrea

(on a note) Jess,
These are you! Eat them all up! Yum Yum!
Love,
Kristel

*points to her red ribbon* See? I have AIDS...I mean I support AIDS - Jen S

Whoa, I never wanna have your baby - Andrea
What are you saying? Am I not good enough for you? Was I not swimming fast enough? - Shoe

I wonder if they call Japan "Japan" in Japan... - Jen W.

*sticks a mic in his face* what's it like to share a name with one of the hottest rap artists in the world? - me
Oh, the one who keeps cutting his cheek? Kind of sad, I wish he'd learn how to shave properly - Nel

...that little bo peep staff that you see the archbishops carrying... - Shea

He's flashing me...with his watch - Matt G.

Two degreeses of freedom - Hammerstrom

We light a single advent wreath...this sea-shun - Barker

I'd be your friend without ransom - Nelson -
(later) See? We don't need some game to keep us friends, it's our mutual horrifying history!

If you were a guy, what girl would you go for? - Emily - If I think about it too much, I start to feel gay.

Watch out world! No one can resist T-Bird pheromones - me

I'm not just pumping sunshine up your skirts - Dr. Fish

You wanna measure how high people are - Domina

You get to rub down and I get to rub up - Kristel

According to Barker:
"new and un-dending life"
"emanicimation proclamation"

You've got the magic tongue - me

I'm a-tarded - Andrea - there's nothing wong with that!

I love being married. There are certain...advantages to it - Barker

Okay, so it's like you're picking up a little baby, and you hold it close...and then...you drop it - Jen R.
*later* Your thumbs are hiding because they're scared! - Jen R.
Yeah, 'cause y'all are droppin' babies! - Michelle L.

Shea quotes for 11/4:
"My mind is at least relatively healthy..."
"I have never smelled God's aftershave."
"...loosey goosey ways..."

Many of you know what a posterior is *pats rear end* - Shea

Well, I'm not as cautious about what I put in my mouth as I used to be - me
Lol, I put lots of stuff in my mouth! - Nel - Whoa, um...nevermind...I meant like...bah
 

Jesus is too intense for a book - Tim

I'll ask him why if guys are so amazed with your junk, they don't take your trunk out - me
I can't answer that question under oath of the "guys are idiotic jerks" constitution - me (pretending to be a guy)
That makes sense, but I thought you would have a better name for it - something like "look, but don't buy" - Andrea
Actually, we almost went with "think with both heads" - me (still as a guy) - Oh, they're interested.
Interested in buying and not just looking? - Andrea
Oh, no - prolly renting, though - me

It's all about the pheromones, baby - me

You still have a million dollar body. The change has just shifted - Shea

I guess I think faster than I type...which is a good thing...because I type pretty slow - Larry

*Imitating a convo after a date:*
Boy: I just paid for your meal!
Girl: It wasn't that good! - Shea

That looks like Christopher Walken! Well, maybe not...maybe it's the eyes...or, no, it's the shape of the face...or the hair? *pointing at its eyes, face and hair respectively* - me (about an apparent animatronic vampire)
Yeah, a little. Hey, those eyes look really real... - Andrea
*supposed animatronic vampire comes to life and jumps at us over the fence*

It's like a plutonic crush - Kristel
Yeah...wait, a what? - me
I don't know - I think I made it up - Kristel

Garcia said police were looking for a white male aged 20 to 30, between 5 feet 8 inches and 6 feet tall, with brown eyes and brown hair that on Monday was slightly spiky in the front - Fox news article on a guy that exposed himself

If I play any more, I'm gonna to need protection. - Joy

In the message, we learned how we are supposed to... - me
*interrupts* fornicate? That's what we learned in Sunday School today. - Andrea

Wow, I look so hott - Sarah

Sin(x) π - crap - Dr. Free

What'd you hafta do to get these? - Andrea (pointing to Shoe's Mardi Gras beads)
You sick-o! They're from my brother - Shoe

Can I use your scale? - Kristel
I'm not a fish... - Dr. Hall

Before you know it, WE'll be wrapped in plastic - Prof Shea

If you let your 4 year old have a candy cigarette, they're going to end up in the electric chair because they killed you in your sleep - Prof Shea

I have an albatross that needs to be killed - Prof Shea (on her dissertation)

They say when you sneeze, you are getting rid of demons. Maybe that's why I sneezed so loudly... - Prof Shea

What are you guys talking about?! What did you say?! - Shoe
8:06 - Dawn

I need a guy with a butt *crab grabs the air with both hands* - anonymous

I like not having them here - no need to impress and the ability to undress! - me

Thanks for holding the door - Jake
Don't thank me - thank the handicapped! - Aaron

He's a wiry one...Actually it's the wiry ones that are strong - I bet he's got stamina... - Joy

I like them...actually they scare the crap out of me...because they're like cat's tails! - Anonymous

He was the "oops" when his mom was 40 - Mega T

You're like the person on my mom's workout video - she says, "I'm proud of you!" but she can't even see what you're doing... - Mega T

It will help wake me up from the dullness chapel - Mega T

Screw Nelson! He screwed you lastnight! - Mega T

You and your hos! - Andrea

If I weren't a Christian, Hedonism wouldn't sound like a bad idea... - Tim
...I agree, that sounds good - Sasha
Well, maybe you two will want to talk after class, then... *class explodes with laughter* Well, he is cute! - Prof Shea

He makes these hamburgers that look like hockey pucks! - Helen

Aren't you Pakistani? - Julie
No, I'm Portuguese. (sarcastically) Aren't you Finnish? - me
I haven't even started! - Julie

Aah! - Michelle
What's wrong? - me
I don't like to hear my voice. - Michelle
Well, no one does. - me 

It's amazing what you say when you realize what you're saying - Andrea

I don't want babies - I just want women. - Andrea

yeah *serious face* he sent me as a replacement to send u to bed... ... ... - me
Darn..how could he have known?!?!?! He's got reinforcements everywhere! - Gen
Sure does - he KNEW you'd rebel! But, no! Ha HA! - me
Oh.  I guess I should go to bed then.. all is lost.  The rebeliion was a disaster. - Gen
Ha ha, darn tootin' - me

Tri nitro toluene - That's T...N...............T! Whoa! - Emily

He's like a mini-Eminem! - me

We invite you, Lord, into our presence... - Dr. Wooster
*door opens*

You don't taste as much as you smell - Andrea

Poop on him for not visiting! - me
Um...okay...you first - Lissa

*after turning TV on to a soap opera sex scene* AAAH! Where's the remote? This is just like the superbowl! - Andrea

You're probably the only one who noticed - Andrea
Well, I saw it when it was just sitting there, then I saw it later, embedded in the rubber carpet - me
How do you know it's the same one? Maybe it was the other one's bodyguard and it got caught instead - Andrea (on the dead worm that's been embedded in the rubber carpet in front of Munro's side entrance for atleast 2 months)

No wonder I can't find a man. I'm losing myself! - Andrea

It's like my boobs are grinding - Andrea

One of the cats at the shelter climbs out of the box and then paws the floor like he's covering his stuff with litter. - Michelle
Like John... - Mary (apparently comparing her brother to a deranged cat ;) )

Taxol is a pill used for increasing blood flow to your fingers and toes. Too much of it will cause your body to explode. Too little of it will cause your body to shrivel up. This is why a careful balance of drugs alone will be able to keep you alive. All must die, so I'm going to carefully deplete the earth of all the resources needed to make taxol. Bwa hahahaha! That is all except I also wanted to proclaim my undying love for um, nevermind - Andrea/me (her progress on the organic chemistry paper the night before it was due)

Silly swimming...seriously, too much time in the water prunes up their brain maybe - Dutch

And whoever tells you that those blood capsules taste remotely good, knock them down and tell them they're full of crap. cuz those things suck. taste horrible... - Nelson

Do you want me to knock some sense into this boy? ;-) - Pam (thanx for lookin' out for me, hehe)

So where's the rest of your posse, Nelson? - Emily
This is it right here! - Dutch
More like "partner in crime." - Nelson

*on a Bickford's menu* Dutch pancakes - a smaller version of our German pancakes.
WHAT?! That's not right! - Dutch
Hey, I'm German - Ron
Haha, and Dutch is a smaller version of Ron! - Phil
(quite a few months when I told my mom the story in Bickford's and the waitress gave me a smaller waterglass) You must have the Dutch version - Mom

I like to play with myself...a lot - Andrea

She was looking at something hot 'n' steamy! - Jen S. (of Andrea when she checked out the hot chocolate in the caf, which happened to be quite close to her curly man, tee hee)

You have no excuse, 'cause you're from the east coast! - me
But I'm in the country and we don't know nothin'. - Lissa

You should have it - all the Nazy schools are doing it - Andrea (to her sis on the phone)
If all the Nazarene schools were jumping off a bridge, would hers? - me
Yes. - Andrea (relaying her sis' answer)

The ultimate abhorrance! My sister dress like a girl today at school! I mean. Crap. - Nelson

Aaw, snap! - Sarah

*sings* I bought some porn for copping! - Andrea (oh, the difference a lil slip of the tongue makes in a Christmas song)

I'm gonna whip ya when we get home - Andrea (to her computer)

I got gas lastnight. - Joy (meaning car gas, of course)

Aye, and it's really hard to find grey hair dye - Nelson

I love how this house is so home-y...and they have the pillows on that...thing. - Lissa

Does he have a Hoop-D? - Shavonne

See? Jess knows bes...t - me
Well. That almost rhymed - Ben
Yeah, I gotta change my name or something...Jest knows best - me
Or Jest is best - Ben

He said he'd be my amanda-sitter when I have no more memory, lol - Norm

I skirt so well, i might as well be a girl - Ker

Well, as much as i love discussing sesame street with you, i think i need to get off of here and head to bed soon - Pam

I don't wanna be one of those girls who goes through guys like a raccoon through trash - me
some raccoons may actually pick through trash gracefully - Norm

Hey, I'm on - Allen
Hey hey, I see - how was the journey here? - me
Traffic was horrible - Allen

hey, you've got a perpetual spring of life flowing from inside of ya that'll never dry up, share it :-) - Ben

flightless waterfowl are highly resistant to subliminal suggestion. just a thought.  - Nelson
(later) I friggin' hate sibbie! and flightless waterfowl!

I'm hungary - Michelle
Haha, you're a country? *flexes foot so that shoes squeak* - me
You're a rocking chair! - Michelle

I wish I was a drive thru man a drive thru man a drive thru man I wish I was a drive thru man who worked at Burger King - Allen

As thoroughly entertaining as you might be, the back've my eyelids seem suddenly appealing - Nelson

Man, that'll be the day...when i get a guy to watch a thunderstorm with...haha - me
I want one! I want one! - Amanda

I'll b on my bnest behavior - Nelson
Ah, your bnest behavior...hmm...that won't do - me
best! BEST! - Nelson
oh, ok, then you're good to go - me

Ya know, these shoes really hurt my feet - Emily
*acting all smart n stuff* Well, maybe you should go change your feet. - me

Say it, Tim. - Doc
*blank look* - Tim
You were about to say it, go ahead! - Doc
*same blank look* uuh... - Tim
Say "anus!" - Doc

I want big breasts and I cannot lie! - Kristel
(later) You other sisters can't deny! - me

G-parents don't even have the common courtesy to live nearby - Nelson
haha, well i guess they could say the same for us - me
nah, sins of the fathers and that bit - Nelson

Well, how ABOUT those penguins? - me
Well...they all died. Ran off a cliff. And Allen shot one. And my arm. - Norm

brb, I'm getting a haircut - Chris

I was a wil' chil'! - Kristel

He's, like, manly gross - Jen S.

Keith and I are the old farts - Matt S.

I can't make sence of the scentences i wrote - Nelson

They are so small that it looks more like a tumor coming out of a cow - Andrea

Tonight's one of those perfect nights for a walk - you know, the ones where you end up wearing the guy's sweatshirt....but he's not wearing a sweatshirt - Emily

Oh, yeah, my uncle's a fungi! - me

I am a 50-year-old man - Andrea
(later) ...with a fetish

Jess is a Chinese man - Andrea
(later) ...with an addiction

I love Asian men - Mer
(later) ...I am a yaoi boy

Rocked my socks off, on, then right back off again - Ker

Crack? *nervous laugh again* hahaha me crack? Never. *changes subject* So how's your dog? - Ben
My dog? Is that code for something? - me

What if I was like, "Actually, this is your stalker..." - me
I'd say, "I didn't know I had a stalker, but my day just got better" - Claire

Are you gonna live your life like that? - me
No...just today - Norm

You laugh...what you don't know is that I have the inside scoop from the ENC freshman patrol. They keep tabs on EVERYTHING! Including the amount of TP you use! - Becca

What? Do you want her to pray or something? - Jen S.

Oh, look! It's like I'm buttering the leg... - Annie

Crap it's cold in here and where the crap is my roomie? - Mer

Oh, but short ppl rule more than short ppl and tall ppl combined! - me
Woah! That's like mathematically impossible!!! It MUST be right!!! - Ker

If you can read it, it's not a signature - Ker

I don't really want to know about your pooping - Andrea

Let's do this like Buddhists! - Michelle

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